The Road Back

Slowly, I have been digging myself out of the pit of gloom that I have been living in for the past week plus. My hands are dirty and bleeding, but I can see the light above me for the first time in a long while. Yet, I know that I have a ways to go before I am clear and one little mis-step could spell disaster.

Judging this episode versus those that I have experienced in the past, I deem that the depression, while brutal at times, has been far less overwhelming this time around. Though, I couldn't say that, while deep in the pit. And I did have a bit of help, amazing what a Guinness can do to numb the senses just before bed. Sleep has been a constant fear throughout this experience. As there is no way, short of the heavy meds, to turn off my brain. So, I have been racked with ever increasing nightmares. I must say that it has been a struggle to not take "just one pill", as I my subconscious has told me on countless occasions. When consciously, I know that that "one" will lead me to a far worse place, eventually. (And Pop, the meds that work for you, don't effect me the same as they do for you.)

So, here I am posting about my struggle to the top, again. There have been a few bright spots on my way out, but the blackness eventually consumes them. I have heard from some people that don't really know me and some that do that have helped in some small way to you and some big way for me. So for that, I thank those of you that cared to say as such.

That is all I can really say for now.

Thanks to you!