Pain Is Relative

I don't know when it started. Maybe it was a slow process, or maybe it happened overnight. But at some point, in my life, I ceased to know physical pain in the sense that I had once known it to be. I do know where it started, that being in my left arm. Gradually, though, the malady has spread throughout all four limbs and in some cases, through parts of my torso as well. For the most part, I can "feel" what I think of as pain, but in discussions with various doctors, it is not pain as others experience it.

Also, for a long time, all I could feel was temperatures. I couldn't tell is something was soft or rough, unless I could see it. I didn't know if someone touched my arms unless there was a temperature difference. Pressure and pain were simply non-existent.

To understand this, I will give you a few examples. Two are from injuries while snowboarding. The first happened in early college. I fell (as snowboarders do) and caught myself with my left arm. I got up and boarded the rest of the way down the hill. I felt a slight twinge in my arm, but nothing too serious. At the end of the day, I went to pick up the board to get ready to go home. Upon picking up the board with the left hand, I got a stabbing pain. I reported to the med center, only to find that I had broken the lower arm just above the wrist. Ok, not a great example.

After college, I stared working out in my best friend's dojo. Learning the art and perfecting techniques. However, it was realized early on by my sensei that I could not work out with the other students. The reason? When put into a submission hold, I could not "feel" the associated pain. Work out partners had to effectively go beyond my physical limitations in order to make me submit. (Which was very rare). I ended up being partnered with the sensei, through most lessons. So that I would not get hurt by students, that applied too much force.

The last example happened on my twenty-eighth birthday. While doing some snowboard racing, I fell on my left hip. The board got stuck in a rut and headed right, while I twisted and fell to the left. Effectively, the quad and hamstring muscles pulled my femur apart in two places. However, I didn't know that I was hurt. That is, until I tried to stand and couldn't put weight on my left leg. I was immediately taken to the clinic and awaited transport to the nearest hospital. All the while, I kept telling the doctors that I was fine and it was just a sprain. (I hadn't seen any x-rays). There is a whole lot more to this, but I won't bore you with the details.

I bring all of this history up, in part, because I have been having some pain in my leg all day. The actual spot of the break is really sore. I have also been having an itching sensation under the scar where the bolts were once located. I am of the belief that this is a "phantom" pain. There is nothing physically wrong, just the mind playing games by saying that there is. The itching, however, is driving me bananas.