Lying in Anger

So, this post is a little off the sarcasm and joy that I normally try to post on this site.

I work in an industry where you must be a "happy, happy, joy, joy" person. All day, every day. Each customer is seeing you for the first time, that day. It doesn't matter if you are having a crap day, either from the hardass people that I have previously dealt with or the physical pain that I have from doing the job. (Let alone the pain from previous and current injuries.)

I love my job, but invariably someone at some point in the day just pisses me off. More often than not, it is one person at one location. [For this person alone, I have used a word that I never used for another person before. The "C" word]. For several stops, thereafter, I am not real happy. And each person I see asks, "How are you doing?" They usually get one the following responses, "Great!", "Phenomenal!", or my favorite "Just peachy!" But really, I am just not happy.

To backstory this, I once had a terrible anger problem. It ate me up. For the most part, I have the anger under control, these days. It really takes a lot of shit to get me angry. And this person has given that out and more.

Really, the problems with this person are bordering on harassment. But that is another story.

I guess that the main reason for this post is that I am on the verge of going postal. But each morning I wake up with the hope that today will be a better day and I go to bed with such anxiety that the next day won't be as bad as today.

It is becoming so hard to put on the "smiley face" when I know that the crap is just a few hours away.

I guess that the only reprieve, this week, is that one of the problem persons is on vacation.

I am tired.

Good night.